Networking

This course primarily focuses on how to build your network the smart way. What this course doesn’t teach is how to be more charismatic, interesting, friendly, use body language etc. That is a whole other realm.

You only learn these skill sets by learning about them and applying them directly to your own life when you meet people. This course will give you the courage and excitement to go out there and start building your network and your people skills will increase with each interaction if you are also absorbing the information in the books.

Instead of putting another 50-100 pages into this course about learning people skills, I am going to recommend all of the great books I have read that have helped me learn better people skills to get where I am today.

I keep a list of books that I have finished to inspire people to learn more through books. I update this list with a ton of books every 3 months or so. Here is the current list as well as a list of reasons WHY you need to read and how you can find time so you stop making excuses :)

www.MyCrazyLifeStory.com/Books-Ive-Read

On that list here are the books that I am going to recommend the most for relationship building to help you take this course and really grow from it. These books are all great and will teach you more than you even knew existed.

The 48 Laws Of Power by Robert Greene
How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes
The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane
The Like Switch by Jack Schafer
How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie
How To Instantly Connect with Anyone by Leil Lowndes
The Art Of Seduction by Robert Greene
The Power Of Ambition by Jim Rohn
The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey

Read them in any order you like but the I believe all of these are must reads. The top 5 on the list should 100% be read.

The Power Of Business Cards

Section 1, Lecture 6

Even a lot of big name people use the line “Oh I still need to get those made.” and they actually know they would help but they don’t consider HOW MUCH they will help so they don’t take the time to get them made. Business cards are very important. It shows how seriously you take yourself and that you operate as a business. It’s always impressive when someone can give you a business card. It may not seem like it, but it is. It shows that you have invested into yourself and believe that you truly are in the business world. It also has other advantages. When someone has your business card in their pocket, when they go home at night and pull their keys and money out of their pockets to set on their dresser, your business card is coming out right next to that stuff. In that moment they are going to remember the interaction that they had with you when they met you. If the experience was one to remember, this will actually build your relationship a bit more. Then when you reach out to them to stay in contact with them it builds to the next level and so on. We will go through all of that in here.

List Of Things To Study Besides The Books

Section 1, Lecture 8

It’s very possible that you got this course but you aren’t super familiar with the keys to successful relationship building and human interaction. In this section I am going to list the things I believe you should spend a little time understanding exist in nearly every social dynamic. For the longest time I never really believed these were real or knew that they even existed.

When I found out, I started noticing them and it helped me understand people better. When I started applying and learning about them, it made me better. Having them in your mind will help you grow them all as you do them time and time again. You will mold yourself into a masterpiece that is the unstoppable you. :)

Speech Pattern

A lot of people don’t realize this but rhythm has a lot to do with us as people. The heart that pumps our blood in us for 70+ years at a perfect pace is proof of that. If something is more rhythmic, it makes us more comfortable, at ease and capable to understand.

The pace of your talking can actually intrigue people to want to listen to you. It can determine how seriously they take what you say and it can also mean the difference between someone trusting you and not trusting you. It’s very important. Similar to how a professional singer goes to a vocal coach to improve and stay in peak condition, a lot of executives at big companies and politicians go to a speech trainer.

Why?

Because when your business is people, (which every business is) the better you are with people the more connections you make, the stronger your relationships are and the better you can communicate what you want and have to offer. The speech trainer doesn’t only help you with your speech pattern but also everything else on this list below. They will ask you to do a speech or perform in some way and then help you identify what your current weak points are by saying things like “Don't tilt your head! Stand up straight! Don't pace

too much! Walk more! Make eye contact for long! Make eye contact shorter! Look away to the left or right, not up or down because it’s intimidating Gesture bigger! Gesture smaller!” Crazy right?

I’m adding all of this into this course just so you understand it does exist and it is important to spend a little time learning so you can make stronger connections as you grow.

First Impressions

I’m sure you have heard the saying ‘First impressions are everything’, and well, it’s true. Your body language, the way you dress, how you talk and more all play a role in how someone will categorize you in their mind. So it is always best to have all of the following things in mind when you are going to meet new people.

Make sure your handshake is firm and meaningful. It’s a bigger deal than you think.

Dress For Success
The better dressed you are the more professional and serious you look. Spend some time learning basic fashion tips for men/women so you can dress sharp and look like a pro to anyone you ever meet.

Be a chameleon. Wherever you go, dress to fit in with that group of people as well as you possibly can.

Intonation

Intonation is the rise and fall of the voice in speaking. Believe it or not, the way that you say and end your words actually tells the listening person whether or not you feel equal to them, above them or lower than them on the totem pole.

Here is a quick video that will probably blow your mind if you’re not familiar with intonation. It will explain what it is, how it works and how powerful it is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFgJCPzkuy8

Body Language
How you carry yourself will make the difference between people respecting you and people not taking you seriously.

Here is an amazing documentary on body language that really made me change my ways.

Secrets of Body Language, Full Documentary

After I started getting into body language my life completely changed. People started taking me more seriously and I get looked at in public like I’m a somebody and it all started with understanding how to present myself.

Eye Contact

Eye contact is extremely important. Too much or too little both have their own effects in conversation. Who you look at in a group and for how long etc. Definitely take some time to read up on eye contact.

Reading People’s Microexpressions

Unless we are trained spies it’s very hard to stop microexpressions from coming across our faces. Wikipedia summarizes it well A microexpression is a brief, involuntary facial expression shown on the face of humans according to emotions experienced. They usually occur in high-stakes situations, where people have something to lose or gain. Micro Expressions occur when a person is consciously trying to conceal all signs of how they are feeling, or when a person does not consciously know how they are feeling. If you can learn to read microexpressions you will be able to tell if people are lying to you or even learn to lead conversations based on the way your words are making them feel.

You probably didn’t expect this to be part of my networking trick but it is. Below I am going to show you the power of using Instagram for networking over any other form to initiate and keep a relationship with someone.

Why Do I Need An Instagram? And Why Not Just Get A Phone Number?

How many times have you been in your cell phone as a number comes through and you’re like “Who the hell is this?” All you have to go off of is a phone number… Sometimes people even tell you who they are and you are like “Wait, how do I know this person? We met at that one event but… I can’t seem to remember what they look like or who they are?!” This is why an Instagram is a super powerful networking tool. If you have their Instagram handle, you can see their face, see what they do from their bio, see who they are in their pictures, what they like and even who they are truly friends with because they are hanging out with those people and showing the world. A phone number isn’t anything but a number that links to someone. An Instagram shows you who they are. This allows you to get to know more about them and actually see what they are doing to grow your relationship with them instead of having to text them and ask “Hey what have you been up to?” because you can clearly see what they have been up to on an Instagram. Just as important here, they can see who you are, what you do, how you can be helpful to them and what you are up to. Some people don’t post as often as others but a lot of people who are running a business or growing a network are DEFINITELY using their Instagram as a tool to do that. ESPECIALLY IN LOS ANGELES! OR OTHER MAJOR INDUSTRY CITIES. I also want you to realize It’s less intrusive than a asking for a phone number too. In a later section we will talk more about how and why the Instagram will help us make more connections with people.

Why Not Just Try To Get Their Facebook?

Facebook is now something that people try to keep to ‘only friends and family’ but with an Instagram you are adding to their ‘Follower’ count and that’s a huge part of having and building an Instagram. On Facebook adding another friend just makes you look like you added a bunch of people and has no real power at all. There is no way you are actually friends with 5,000 people lol. Everyone knows that. But on Instagram having 5,000 real people makes you look like you have influence. We don’t expect those to be your friends. The first thing we look at on an Instagram is someone’s follower count. So when we approach someone and ask for their Instagram instead of a phone number they are more prone to saying “Yea sure!” because they want you as a follower. Smart. ;)

When They Ask

Sometimes people ask me “Why do you network using Instagram? Why not a phone number?” and they only ask because they don’t understand the genius behind the approach that I just explained to you above.

When they ask you “Why?” explain it to them! Let them know that it helps you build a
relationship with them because you can like and comment on their new pictures and slowly but surely become friends.

It intrigues people when you tell them what I just said above. Trust me, I watch people’s faces change from “Why the hell would you want my instagram???!” to “Oh wow, that’s pretty smart.” everytime I mention how I network to people.

What If They Don’t Have An Instagram?

If you really want to connect with someone and they tell you that they don’t have an Instagram don’t worry. You can still get that phone number and if they are off put by the phone number ask for an E-mail address to follow up with them. If that is still off putting to them you can go your separate way or try the last resort and make sure they have your business card in their pocket!

This Method Makes Networking Easier

When you start Instagram jumping (we talk about that later) you’ll realize how much easier using Instagram to build a network is. Instead of having to understand and deal with the social dynamics of in person situations, you get to just like photos, comment and send DMs to build your relationship up. You can blast 50 messages to 50 people in less than 5 minutes and if they respond cool, if they don’t, no biggie! There is no building up confidence to approach someone, wait for the right moment or be in fear of what they will say when you approach them. It’s much more difficult to get dressed, look spiffy, have a fantastic and happy attitude and go somewhere to meet people. With this method you don’t have to do that stuff until after you already established the connection over Instagram. Please understand I still highly recommend that you build the people skills to be able to go out and do that stuff. But I wanted to put your mind at ease so you know that even if you are very introverted this method will help you grow a network.

More Helpful Information

The cool thing about My Connected Method is that it can be used on any site to catalog people.

Then you just remember weekly to stay in contact with them. Instagram and Linkedin are not the only sites you can use this method.

You can use it on Twitter, Facebook and hundreds of others. The thing with Instagram is it gives other users less information about you before you actually become who you want to be to impress them.

On Facebook and Linkedin they expect to see more information about who you are and your background. On Instagram, you are just a good person trying to connect and the only thing they have to go off of is your personality and attitude towards relationship building. Basically, you start from scratch with every person instead of them being able to judge you off of other things

Okay I had a feeling that some people might be a bit worried because

A) They don’t have an Instagram or
B) Their Instagram sucks and they know it needs to be better.

That’s okay, I have your back!

The Steps To Instagram Success

All we are doing here is establishing a decent Instagram profile for you so that when you start networking using your Instagram people are going to want to interact with you through Instagram.

1) If you don’t have an Instagram go ahead and create one by downloading and installing the Instagram app to your phone. It is available for all Smartphones.

2) I am going to recommend that there are pictures of yourself on the Instagram. Choose your best pics of you alone or you with good friends or family.

Realize that your Instagram DOESN’T Have to have pictures of you if you don’t want it to. It can just be cool quotes. But the thing with that is you look very introverted if you only post pictures of quotes… or your dog or cat. I am going to assume if you bought a course on networking that you see the power in networking and also that you are at least a little bit out going.

As this process grows on you, you will come out of your shell anyways so just keep moving forward.

3) I’m going to recommend you post at least 30 pictures so the profile looks like you have been using it for a longer time.

Do a combination of inspiring quotes, pictures of you and friends and family, funny memes, something in your industry or a video you have created.

If you see Instagram posts you liked and that you would like to post onto your Instagram you can use a Instagram downloader to get your hands on that file and post if yourself. Use the tool below by putting the URL of the picture into it and pressing the download button.

DOWNLOADGRAM(.)COM

You simply put an Instagram URL into the box, press download and it will give you the green button on the bottom to download the image.

You can then take that image and post it on your Instagram profile.

Making Your Instagram Bio
Instead of spending 3 hours writing another post as detailed as one I recently already wrote, I’m just going to send you to the post I recently wrote lolhttp://smartrapper.com/how-to-make-good-instagram-bio/

This post will show you every detail on how to build your Instagram bio and why it is VERY important.

Automated Networking

If you actually read that article I wrote above, down in the article it shows you a software to automate the growth of your Instagram. Later on in this course I am going to go more into detail about that actual software and how to use it to grow your network aside from just building your following.

This is an outline of my process that I have perfected to build relationships with people.

1. Meet People At Events Or Through Instagram Jumping
2. Exchange Instagram Profiles
3. Catalog Instagram Profile Into A Notepad
4. Transfer The Saved Notepad Information To Your Computer
5. Filter Important People From Unimportant People As You Catalog Them
6. Stay in contact with useful connections on a weekly basis to build rapport
7. Establish plans with the useful connections to further the relationship.
8. Stay in touch and strengthen your relationships
9. Repeat the process

The cool thing about connections is that it is a very small world. A lot of people know a lot of people and people who you would never expect know people, know people. This is why it’s smart to network and make friends anywhere you go. I’ve met super well connected people at Starbucks and at bars. Those connections were just as powerful as connections I have made a professional networking events. Therefore I believe you should always be meeting people, shaking their hands and getting their contact information. You never know where it will lead down the road. With that in mind I want you to learn how to strike up conversations with everyone, anywhere, anytime. Say Hi to people, learn to compliment people and learn how to make friends anywhere you go! That’s what I do! Ask anyone who knows me! Then ask them how I met them… ;)

One thing I do that I find important is to connect with as many people as possible in every situation. Get everyone’s contact, not just a few people. You may think that you are spreading yourself thin and not really ‘building a relationship’ but we filter everything later so don’t worry. I figure if I am using a machine gun to hit my target I have a much better chance by spraying 30 shots (getting 30 connections) than shooting a well aimed 5.

Sure you are building a connection with those 5 people just a bit more but how do you even know if they are who you need to be networking with? If I get 30 contacts in 1 place I can then go home and assess who everyone is and then build a relationship through the internet by focusing my time on the people who are more valuable to me. Later in this course we discuss how to filter useful people and not so useful to you people. We don’t ‘discard’ anyone because having a relationship with everyone is a good idea.

Everyone is important in their own right. We just want to make sure you are spending your time focusing on the right people. The ‘less useful people’ get put into a different category when we start cataloging them. If I only met 5 people I am 6 times less likely to have spoken to someone who may be just who I need. Plus now 30 people have met me instead of 5. In certain circumstances you may hit the jackpot and suddenly be talking to just who you need to be talking to. That 1 person could be the only person you even need to talk to that night. If you realize that, try your best to make sure that person can find value in you somewhere. Even if that value is simply that you are nice and you seemed to love listening to them talk about themselves.

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

― Dale Carnegie , How to Win Friends and Influence People

Stuff like this is why I really need you to read those books. It will help you learn to make people love you and WANT to connect with you. Learning the things in those books will make all of your relationships in life better. Your family, your friends, your lovers and more. Trust me.

Further below we also talk about building networks through Instagram Jumping. Keep reading.

This is where the process begins for me in public when I want to start networking with people. I keep a smile on my face and I introduce myself to someone and ask a bunch of questions about them. I focus on learning about them more than talking about myself because that is vital in making the other person like you more and actually want to connect. You are then someone who makes them feel better about themselves because you listen and care. This person now sees a good reason to want you around them more and potentially build a strong relationship. After I have spoken to someone for a few minutes or even 30 seconds if the timing is right, I ask them if they have an Instagram and tell them that it is how I stay connected with people. Sometimes they ask why and then you tell them it’s stronger than a phone number because I can see what you do, keep up to date on your current projects and more. 95% of the time they say “Oh yeah!” If they hesitate be funny by saying, “Want another follower?”. Now you are providing something valuable to them that makes them look better and you just met this person. I then usually say something like “I’ll like all your pictures to boost you up. I got your back *laugh*” It is very rare that someone doesn’t have an Instagram or actually wonders why I want their Instagram. You will learn your own little method of getting people to give you their Instagram. What works for you and what doesn’t work will come over time.

1) Before I even approach people I already have my Instagram loaded up ready for that person to type in their Instagram into my phone.

Turn on the Instagram app and leave it sitting on this page.

You get to this page by pressing the magnifying glass on the bottom and then by pressing ‘people’ at the top.

Then when you hand the people the phone they just type their name into that box at the top to find themselves.

This way when you hand them the phone you can say “Just type it in here” and it’s effortless. No fumbling with the phone saying “1 Second” or “hold on let me get to the page.”.

This method allows me to walk up to anyone anywhere and just hand them the phone because they already know what you want when they see that page.

I use this method ALLLLLL the time in the club. I can’t hear anyone and we can’t have a conversation but if they look important I approach them and hand them the phone with this screen on.

2) Tell them they can hit follow on their page as long as they are gonna follow you back After they type in their profile handle they will go to their profile and it will usually still be in their hands. You want to make sure they SEE that your profile followed their profile. Whether you are still holding the phone in front of them or they are still holding the phone make sure they see it happen.

They feel the need to reciprocate the action since you made had them witness it as if it was important. (because it was)
Now you two are following each other… relationship is already starting to bloom.

Every time this person posts a picture up, it will go into your Instagram feed and you will like it and comment on it. Them seeing you over and over again is building the relationship slowly but surely.

Don’t worry, this isn’t it. The method is coming up soon.

Here we are talking about phone numbers. At some point in the relationship building process you are going to get a phone number. How do you keep these organized? Let me show you.

There are 4 main things I am tagging people with when I am adding someone into my
phonebook in my phone.

1. Their Name
For obvious reasons lol
2. Where They Live

I make sure that I put where they live at so that anytime I am in their city or area I can contact them for lunch or coffee. That plus I am aware of where they reside.

You’ll notice in the picture below if I type in Korea Town my assistant comes up as well as girls I know who live in Korea Town in LA.

3. What They Do For A Living Or How They Are Useful To Me

I put their profession in their title as well so that anytime I need someone of their profession I can just type in the keywords and they will pop right up.

Notice in the pictures below how it can be very useful

4. Where I Met Them At
To remind myself of where I met them and how I know them I tend to add that to the end of their title if It’s someone I may not already remember.

If you don’t catalog people in this way, it’ll be harder to stay in contact with them down the road.

That might be because you forget who they are or you can’t remember the difference between two Ryans only based off of their last name.

Whenever I don’t catalog people in this manner, I never really talk to that person again. It’s weird but I know this method works. :)

You are going to be meeting so many people when you are out and about that you are going to have to find a way to remember all of those people so you can filter through them later. I need you to install a note taking app of some kind so that you can save people’s Instagram profiles as soon as you get it. I have an Android and I use an app called Color Note because it is super easy to use for taking notes and it instantly opens so I can move more fluidly through gathering contacts in a crunch. There are other popular note taking apps like Evernote, Simple Note and One Note. Just make sure you have one installed. :) Below is a video of how to transfer people’s Instagram profiles to the note for later use.

So as soon as you meet someone in person and get their Instagram profile this is the next step of the process to start cataloging them. The video showing you how is next.

For this method you are going to need to Install Google Chrome. It is fast and efficient for my process. Don’t fret, It is available on both Mac and Windows.

In the video we go over how to take all of the people you have met and how to organize them into folders so you can easily stay in contact with them week after week and continue building a relationship with them.

Why To Use A Computer For This Instead Of A Phone

Why not do it all on your phone? Because you will have to manually type in every single profile and deal with them one by one. It will take you 10 times longer to do it from your phone so I wouldn’t even consider it!

The Stay Connected Method

Here I show you how you are going to make sure you stay on people’s radar to be able to continue building a relationship with them. When you are constantly liking and commenting on people’s photos/videos the law of reciprocation comes into play and helps build a the relationship further.

The Coffee Shop Every 2 weeks Above I show you how to stay connected with people on Instagram.

At some point you are going to get these people’s phone numbers and you need to do something very similar in order to stay in contact with the phone numbers. This is what I do.

1) I make sure I have an hour or two of free time just to do this task

2) I go to my local coffee shop and get a nice strong coffee

3) I find a nice comfortable spot I can sit in for an hour

4) I start texting every single relevant person in my phone. I mean… ALL OF THEM! I text everyone saying something along the lines of “Hey! Hope all is well with you. Sending some positive vibes. Keep killing it and doing what you do best.” This let’s them know that you crossed their mind and builds rapport with them EVEN IF THEY DON’T RESPOND. That message above didn’t really give them a reason to respond but that’s okay. Because if you’re texting 100s of people you don’t want to be in that coffee shop for 4 hours holding text conversations and getting lost between which conversation was which, trust me, I’ve been there. An open ended text may or may NOT get a response and that’s okay. :) They still see the text and see your name which helps.

In this section we will talk about leading direct message conversations into making a real connection for

A) a phone call

B) a video meeting

C) an in person meeting If there is one thing I have learned over the years of connecting with people it is that often we over think things.

We worry about asking for a number or trying to take that next step in something and the result is never as scary as we make it look in our heads. Even if they say no, big deal. It’s clear that:

A) We haven’t established enough rapport with this person for them to understand your value or

B) They aren’t worth spending time trying to befriend or add to your network. Don’t waste time on people who don’t want to spend their time on you. Move to the next one. If you want someone’s phone number, ask for it. As long as you aren’t a creep or a weirdo they are going to know that it is for business purposes. What I am going to here is establish when it is okay to ask for the phone number though.

1) Start a conversation through the Instagram DM USE SCRIPTS BELOW IN NEXT SECTION

2) Remind the person of how you met them (if in person) or mention that you stumbled across their profile while going through hashtags.

3) Tell them a compliment or 2 on their Instagram and mention how you see they are on the road to success and will get there in no time.

4) Ask a few personal questions based off of what you can see on their profile or something from where their profile links out to.

5) Then tell them how you can potentially provide value or help them or WHY you want network with them. Even if it is the reason that you feel like they are going to be extremely successful one day and you’d be stupid not to connect with them now. People are super flattered by comments like that. ;)

6) Have a little bit more conversation with them (Hopefully they continue responding) PLEASE NOTE: Sometimes people get off IG and take time to respond to DMs. Give them time. There has been times where I have assumed people were ignoring me when really they are just busy. Don’t jump to conclusions.

7) Ask them if there is a better way to get in contact with them. Generally people will give you their Phone Number or if they aren’t comfortable enough they will say they use their Instagram and you can just stay in contact through there.

8) If you have their number, give them a call the next day and talk about a few things and then discuss when they are available to meet in person. Or if they didn’t give you their number simply ask when they would want to meet in person and if they are a coffee or tea person. In certain circumstances you could do a bar because some people prefer alcohol. The thing is that the bar will get expensive for the next step.

9) Meet them in person! Go with them to the counter and offer to pay the $5 for their coffee or tea. If they say no, then insist! You’ll be very surprised how powerful buying someone something is for building a relationship.

10) Spend 90% of the time there talking about them, what they are interested in, what they are building and doing and what their goals are.

11) Then tell them about you and what you can potentially do for them.

12) Make sure you end the meeting with a follow up meeting or task you are going to do for them to provide value which is keeping you in contact with them. There are a lot of other tactics and tricks to this entire thing but it’s way too advanced and not really necessary. You will get into your own rhythm and figure out how what works best for you.

None of this is really complicated. It’s just about DOING IT. The hustle. Stopping the fear you have of just going for it.

Below I am providing scripts for you to use to start the conversations as well as just stay in contact with connections you have already made